Awakening Part IV: There is only Now

Rose & Sunday by oddsock
About three weeks ago I had been having an urgent feeling to declutter and was following that feeling trying to understand. It wasn't about letting go of "things" -- it was something about energy. When I asked for clarity I had an experience that is the next step in the awakening for me: There is only Now.

I had an experience of myself AS my Inner Being: wise, intelligent, ancient -- not blending with, not being a partner with, but me as my Inner Being and separate from all of the energetic "stuff" that is my body and everything around me. In that euphoric moment I realized there is only Now. There is no future. No past. And because there is only Now, everything exists right now.

As I explored this experience I wrote: Decluttering is not worrying about the future. It’s doing what I desire now and letting God take care of the future because there isn’t any future, there is only Now. So there is no need to keep things because they may be needed. No need for obligation in relationships or jobs or any other "shoulds." There is only intuition which tells me what to store or keep, and which actions are in the stream I have summoned. And my intuition is my connection to my desire being manifested. There really is only Now. This whole past and future thing trips us up. So much changes in my thinking if there is only Now. Nothing to protect from. No need to defend. And movement. How does movement happen? Because that’s why we think there is time because we see things change. But it is only our thinking that changes! And our thinking draws to us what we are thinking about. So we are always in our creative Now. We always have everything we need. There’s no "other!" There is only the reflection of me. Somehow when I take away the clutter of time I can see there is only Now and there is only a reflection of me.

Now I feel like I can really play in this physical experience. There is no fear here in the Now. No lack. There’s all this matter around me. I can feel the physical universe around me and it’s not me. There’s no judgment one way or the other of it. It’s neutral. Just stuff. And I can create beautiful, dazzling things that make my heart soar. What I don’t know I’ll figure out. I can feel I am my Inner Being and how much fun it is to be here. This is what I intended when I came in. I feel excited. I can really play in a big way now – a world way. A Universe way. I sit back and conjure with my thoughts. I sit back and relax and conjure worlds. And watch the Universe create for me.

You don't live in one world. You share a dimension and are individually creating in as many separate worlds as there are beings.

Abraham-Hicks, A New Beginning II, Jerry & Esther Hicks, P. 236

There was much more -- it was pretty a heady experience. When I came out of the experience the world seemed so strange and out of focus -- ways I had been used to thinking about the world and the realization I had just had overlapped and didn't fit. I walked around in a bemused, dreamy state for several days and then got concerned and felt I should focus. I tried some of my old ways of feeling good like writing intentions, but they were indeed old ways and not up to speed with this new awareness.

Playing in the physical experience is different than I thought. It really is more like I have a room full of toys to pick from and I can do anything I want. I don’t create the toys. They’re all there for me to pick from. The buffet is laid out and I fill my plate. Now in this physical realm we can actually plant the tree, pick up the wood, and carve it. Plant the seed, harvest, and cook it. Or we can send out the desire and someone will bake the bread and we can buy it or have it given as a gift. We don’t create the seed or the life process that so elegantly provides the process for it to grow. The desire is our choice, the exact means for the manifestation belongs to the Universe.

I've decided to "drop my nets" and follow this new energy. I'm taking a break from blogging. I'm very, very interested in the political and social changes taking place right now and will explore that arena. My home, my body, the food I eat -- everything has been changing and there is a joyful gathering momentum each day. I can feel a new awareness coming into focus.

One time I had an afternoon where I walked in love and everything flowed magically. My intuitive understanding is that is where my stream is flowing -- that's the manifestation that comes from my Now experience.

You can get so in the flow of what you want flowing to you that then your life becomes about a gentle defining of the way you'd like it to flow next. A complete understanding that you are worthy. A complete understanding that it is coming. No question about it. No interest in how or when or where. Just amused awareness that it is coming, and a gentle desire to guide it for the fun of being the deliberate creator I am.

Abraham-Hicks, San Francisco, CA, February 11, 2006

Thank you, Darling Abraham, this loving Universe, and my vibrational Family and Friends in Spirit. @>----
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When I had the desire to declutter my energy I revisited Leo Babauta's
Zen Habits and just touching the clean focus of his vibrant, loving energy felt so good. You can read about Leo's journey here.

My previous posts on the Awakening:

Part I: This is the time of Awakening

Awakening Part II: Blending with my Inner Being

Awakening Part III: Love is All There Is