...For you to understand that your thoughts, the combination of your thoughts -- is what equals what you get, sometimes it empowers you and sometimes it frightens you, because sometimes you're surer than others about what you want. And in your uncertainty, what is happening?
...Let us remind you: There is a decision for you to make. And you haven't made it yet. You are still exploring options. You might even have narrowed it down to one or two things. Do you feel how enervated you feel? How tired, even depressed? How you wake up in the morning, and you really don't want to get out of bed? The reason for that is because your Energy is diffused. You don't know what you want, and so this powerful, or potentially powerful, Energy is coming into you -- but you are sending it off in so many directions, you feel tired. And do you remember how, whenever you made a decision about something, how good you felt?
Once you make a decision, no matter how minor the decision is, you are suddenly empowered again -- because suddenly you are saying "yes" to something. You're not saying "yes, no, yes, no, maybe." You're saying, "Yes," and so the Energy flows. That is "Divine Intervention." When you get all of your thoughts going in one direction, then we say "Let it go!" And "everyone" gets behind and offers to you, and that is why you feel this great power of momentum, you see. All of the "fairies of the Universe" get behind you when you're decided. And otherwise, it is sort of, nobody paying much attention to you.
Abraham-Hicks, A New Beginning II, p. 216-217.
I have been using segment intending for some time now and got the energy stream moving pretty fast. I came to a place where I felt like a very big change in energy level was right here and now for me. I didn't know what to do with it and felt afraid. I didn't know what would be big enough to have that type of energy in my life and didn't allow it to happen. So, now I feel like I'm meandering in a little backwater, a small pond off of the main flow. I want to explore and have more fun, but still don't know where or when or what that would look like.
Luckily, I also know that this backwater is just a platform for me to shoot off a new desire. And I also know that I can work with my thinking and allow a higher level of energy in a way that pleases me. I can meander there. I can saunter there. I can leap off the leading edge and fly to where I want to go. Whatever works. There's no desire that's kept from me.
I went from that flowing, high energy feeling to one of being on hold and waiting. My intention is to feel good so I sent that out and LOA brought me the quote above in response -- one of those "open the book and it's there" experiences. It describes exactly what happened to me and what I've been feeling.
I can tell the stall I'm in has to do with my thinking. I feel conflict about every little choice of the many things to do during the day. And before there was such flow with everything falling into place. The quote above clued me in to a way to work with this feeling -- just rummage through all the conflicts, make a decision about doing something, set intentions, and go do it. I get a feeling of movement, but my intention is to be comfortable with the soaring energy I was feeling before.
I suspect that what is at the core of this backwater of energy is actually a decision to make about my state of being -- not about something to do or not do. When I had the thought "what would be big enough for this energy" my mind ran quickly through things to do -- Gandhi, Mother Teresa, save the whales -- what was important enough?
But as I've floated a bit restlessly in this backwater and thought about it -- as I write this now -- I think what is big enough for that energy is just feeling worthy of it. Feeling enough just as I am.
Abraham says appreciation is the closest to Source Energy that we feel. Glorying in a beautiful sunset. Expressing talents and abilities. Trusting that my desires are worthy and allowing myself to have them. Being creative. Enjoying life. Those qualities of being and doing seem big enough for that energy.
I am called, not only to be the apple blossom and new leaves of spring, but to be the harvest, the dormant roots of winter, and the fallow land whose only purpose is being what it is. To glory in the backwaters as well as times of flying. To just allow life to be this bright moment, full of promise, full of bugs and birds, and all manner of good things.
I used to call this type of insight the Velveteen Rabbit experience -- an experience of becoming real. These insights involve the death of an old way of thinking. I didn't realize it then, but that instinctive fear of death was the fear of the Energy that I mentioned earlier. In writing this post I've received clarity and understanding. It's a relief to let go of the old way of thinking. I feel a little "realer" right now. I don't need to be Gandhi or do something the world thinks is valuable to be filled with this wondrous Energy. I can if I want to, but I don't have to. This is just another of those delicious turning points. I feel more willing to allow myself to be aware of distant dreams that got lost in making my way in the physical world -- those fallow fields that now offer such promise of who I really am.
Do you understand how adored you are?
Do you understand how the creation of this planet, the creation of this universe, do you understand how it all fits together for the perfection of your experience? Do you understand how beloved you are, how blessed you are, how adored you are,what an integral part of this creative process you are?
....You think, Oh, I could get sick, I could get run over by a truck, I could die. And we say, yes, many wonderful things like that could happen to you. [Laughter from audience.) Once you give up your fear of death and you accept your immortality, and you understand that you will never cease to be and that there will always be a powerful Now and the consciousness that is you will never end. And that it cannot turn out anything but wonderful. Then maybe you will relax and say, "There is nothing very important going on here. There is only an entire universe that has been established to point me toward a moment in time where I might experience some joy."
Abraham-Hicks, Kansas City, MO, 9/17/03
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